What the Hull?

Unfocused thoughts and random diary entries on the journey through life.

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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Life is a tricky business
Well things don't get better do they. I spoke to an ex recently who was a bit insomniac having found a lump on her breast. She went to the doctor who discovered not one but two lumps. She's been told to take ibuprofen for a fortnight then go back for another check. I'm sure it'll be nothing really, but she's unsurprisingly worried about it and I can't do anything about it. She's not spoken to her mood swinging best mate for weeks either, and just had a male 'friend' of many years try hitting on her. I think she'd've been better off not going back with friends like that but what do I know..

Spoke to another ex whose currently pregnant (nothing to do with me!) and she says she doesn't want us to talk anymore -I'm guessing either it makes her bloke nervous or she wants to bury our convolted but fun past as she gets into the family raising chapter of her life. Well it's a shame but gotta respect those wishes. Numbers deleted.

Also had an MSN chat with a female friend whose aeons long relationship looks to be trouble. She had mapped out her marriage, kids and career plans and been with the guy for ages.. shame things go to ratshit. This seems to be the year of the break ups. I dunno if they'll split up or not or even if they should. She's a nice girl tho and it seems her life is passing her by. "You have to love yourself before you can love someone else" was my advice, but I did mention my advice may not be worth too much given my chequered history.

I spent Sunday at Christines helping her with some lights. Got two out of three working. On the third she'd removed the fitting an junction box thing without noting where any of the four pairs of wires were from. I managed to bypass it to get the living room light working by locating the consumer unit wire, by trial an error. There was six combinations of wiring to try so I kept pulling out the ceramic fuse from the consumer unit, connecting two pairs or wire then putting back in the fuse and trying the light. On the fifth try the fuse blew as I replaced it. Made me jump.. blue flash and smoke hmm.. anyway it was the sixth try that got it working. What else.. on saturday I had a karate grading. That went OK but just OK. I had planned to stay home the night before but in the end went out and stayed up till after 4am so I got there knackered and rough from drinking too much. Oops. Went out on Saturday night to Spiders again and spent most of the night talking to Wez then a girl called Kelly who I'd met once previously -she recognised me from an online conversation previously (er..) We're supposed to go for a drink on Thursday night. She seems quite nice and very sharp anyway. Saw one of the Jills from my course behind one of the bars -we've been trying to swap numbers for weeks but haven't got round to it yet. Emailed some very sick jokes to various people, just to let them know I havent forgotten them completely -I'm very bad at staying in contact tho.

Made a start training the 4 (to be) bonsai trees that grew from the seeds Cat got me in April. So far I've put one jack pine and one italian stone pine into pots and wired them. I also found a very small (natural bonsai?) conifer growing inside another plant which I intend to dig up and repot. I like hands on creative stuff, now I have to see if the two I've moved will survive their ordeal.

posted by martin 01:56

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Going Nowhere (again)
Fucking bored. Went to spiders on Friday and saturday. Both were ok nights, talking to people and stuff. On Saturday Cher and Wez broke up. That's a bitch especially as I figured they were pretty good couple -but then what do I know about relationship stuff anyway.. I met a girl called Kelly who seemed ok, aside from being nocturnal at weekends, and her mate being pissed off. Talked to a girl who'd been kicked out by her mother (stepdad issues), told her about the Warren and when I got home emailed her the details. Hopefully she'll be bright enough to go there and get some help with housing, and hopefully some qualifications and counselling. That was my good deed for this fucking lifetime. Green Day got it right with "Nice Guys Finish Last" but I think "The Grouch" is more me today. To be honest I've been in a pretty pissed of and anti social mood for the past three days and I'm particularly fucked of tonight, probably no good reason.

Spoke to Julie on the phone. Her new job isn't wrking out so far. That's a real fucker especially as it was the straw that broke the relationship's back. I'd already said they sounded a disorganised mess but as ever it's not their fault the job doesn't really start for about 8 months it's another department.. just like at her last place it wasn't their managers fault they were always strectched to cover shifts and staff were complacent. Sounds to me like she's moved from one managerial fuck up to another. For fucks sake.. on the plus side we're evidently still talking. she was pretty pissed off on the phone with work and Uni, if we were still together I'd've thrown financial caution to the wind and driven over there but we're not so I couldn't really do much.

Spent most of today working on the garden and weeding the pond by hand. Been pulling out loads of thread algae and bits of weed. Finished carving the steps for the waterfall, gotta test it tomorrow.

Got results from my last two uni exams and coursework. That's all good. I got 57% in each exam, pass mark was 40%. wonder how I would've done if I hadn't been ill.. I got 75% for the essay, which is pretty amazing as I felt it was just good enough for a pass. Well gotta go try and sleep I guess.

posted by martin 03:38

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Life is a learning curve
Haven't been blogging lately. Been busy with uni, got a karate grading on the horizon, relationship stuff still ongoing.. Been going out alot latel. The thing about being single is a night in on your own really sucks whereas when your in a couple you can enjoy a night in together now and then. so I'm single and I've been going out alot.. getting a bit skint (well that and bought a bed and got the car fixed on last payment I received -but there's always something anyway). I've noticed being single also means higher moile phone bills as suddenly you find your collecting numbers and having text conversations all evening. So yeah I'm finding being single is pretty costly. Just put a load of old books on eBay. I tend to hoard the things and rarely reread them anyway.

Went to a party on Saturday night, took a mate along but he seems to be having some sort of massive anxiety problem that night. After it took him forever to park his small car in a big space he kept saying how old he felt and how wierd it was to be in a student house before leaving way before the party got going. Strangeness. Well I spent most of the evening talking to two lady colleagues. We talke about a girl I'm rather keen on who wasn't there but it turns out she has a boyfriend anyway. Ah well.. I also had a long text conversation with a drunk Christine too.

Monday was training, ended up in the pub putting the world to rights with James. I also had a meeting with my doctor that morning. There's nothing they can do about my insomnia, except sleeping pills but neither myself nor my doc are up for that chemically paved path. I reckon a very long winded psychological appraoch is probably whats needed but that's not about to happen. Also had a meeting with uni that I was a bit concerned about but it went fine. I think a staff member took issue with me flagging up a specific problem and tried to throw a spanner in the works -not too professional but then I didn't think she was already.

May or may not be still talking to Julie, who knows.. the bubble burst and reality reasserted itself. Not too sure what to do with some of the stuff she's left. Should get exam and essay results next week -I'm quietly confident though, even if the relationship stuff screwed up revision and I was ill for both exams. I applied for mitigation and gave them my doctors note gave in my doctors note afterwards anyway.

posted by martin 12:45

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Unbalanced opinion and general wittering, sometimes in the small hours after a night out. Legal disclaimer: take all of this as fiction.. Any likenesses to persons, events or companies living, dead, past or present is purely coincidental..

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The Portrait of Dorian Grey
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